so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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