the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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