Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
