I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
