i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
