My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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