Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
