yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
