Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
