I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize