Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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