Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
