it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
