You were right. It hurts to walk today.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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