Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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