At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You were trust falling into bushes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
