Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He felt like a one man threesome
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
