I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
