Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
