i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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