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Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
