Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Panties = found
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