somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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