Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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