youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
