You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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