Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
