9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You made out with two different species that night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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