Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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