We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
