I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
