and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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