Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works

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(818): View more from California

Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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(678): View more from Georgia

he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.

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(707): View more from California

she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND

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(303): View more from Colorado

We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.

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