I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
