im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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