Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
