And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
