just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
