I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
