he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
