he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm passing your future prison.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
