I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
