Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize