dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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