The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
