i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
