I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
