i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize