The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
