i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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