$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
