I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize