Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
