I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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