I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize