No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
