i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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