ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
