You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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