I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
