i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
