You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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