Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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