More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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