my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
