I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
