Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
